Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize
