That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
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