I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
