I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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