i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize
