in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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