if only i could text you this smell
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
