Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
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