Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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