we're blogging at a bar
This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize
