Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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