i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Hippo gnu deer
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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