We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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