whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
