i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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