North Korea, Best Korea!
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
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