I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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