bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Randomize
