Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
