i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
