brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
