You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
he fucked my hip out of place.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
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