Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
