If i come over, it means nothing
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
