we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
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