so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
