They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
