i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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