so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
