Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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