Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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