I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
My pussy is not your playground.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
