So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Randomize
