she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize
