just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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