I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
