I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
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