I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
