oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
