Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
