Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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