doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Randomize
