I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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