i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
So much rum. So many feels.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Randomize
