I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
