The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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