we're blogging at a bar
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
