were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
