I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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