Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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