I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
