i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
